I can't wait to go back to work!

Mommy needs a vacation.
Greg, you have never seen so much timeout. You are really having a hard time adjusting to the new addition. When Billy is crying you need instant attention. When I am trying to change his diaper all of a sudden you MUST read a book.
While Billy was on his tummy time mat, you needed to play with it. Didn't matter that all of your big boy toys were spread out only inches away. Nope, this infant toy was irressistable. You flopped down to explore and sideswiped your brother's head with your leg. When I told you to be gentle you stared me in the eye as you slowly drove your car into Billy's head. Yup, time out for poor listening. This time out lasted about 10 minutes becuase we had to restart it everytime you left the corner.
When daddy was still home with me life was pretty easy because we would split up and tag team you two squirts. Now that he has gone back to work he comes home to one strung out mommy.
Several times I foolishly decided to run some errands before daddy came home. What a disaster. Daddy has found me in tears several times. I am able to handle the stress when I have the luxury of taking a nap when you two are sleeping but if you won't sleep at the same time I am out of luck. And errands take way longer than they used to. Even getting out the door takes ages longer now. I will have to start taking snacks for myself because it is hard to be understanding on an empty stomach. He gave me some frustrating advice not to let you boys get to me. Although he was trying to be supportive it didn't really leave me feeling justified in my emotions.
What did? Monday!

On Monday I pumped a bottle for baby Billy and went to visit your Aunt Chloe at work. I was gone just over two hours. I called home to say that I was on my way and had to hang up in a hurry because Billy was crying and daddy was trying to sort him out. Bad time to talk. I called again to say I was ten minutes away so that everyone would be ready to rush out to Billy's one month Dr. check up. Wayne told me in no uncertain terms that he and Greg would not be going.
I was really surprised because daddy loves to go to your Dr Appointments. He loves to get your progress reports and see how much you have grown. Daddy was so frustrated because Billy needed to be held the whole time I was away and he wasn't able to get anything down and now there was not enough time for a shower and to get Greggie cleaned up and dressed.

When I got home chaos greeted me at the door. Benny was jumping 4 feet into the air, so happy that the last of his pack had made it home. Daddy was yelling at him to get into his den, trying to alleviate some of the stress. I herded the doggy into his crate, to keep spastic dog contained, and as I latched the door closed behind Benny I discovered the pasta ladle had been chewed down to the handle and hidden in the dog crate. What a bad doggy. Benny is such an opportunist. He quietly steels things he knows he isn't allowed to have like socks, baby wipes, paper towels, utensils, stuffed animal toys, food off the counters, the list goes on and on. We find the remains in the backyard or in the dog crate. It is maddening.
After locking up Benny I was able to say hello to my baby Greg. Greg was so happy to see me that it brought an instant smile to my face. Greg you do this little happy dance and your smile is so wide and bright and the arms shoot up into the air in a demand to be picked up and held. I love coming home to a celebrity's welcome. I took Greg upstairs for his nap. Greg was a mess. Even too much for a baby wipe. I scrubbed his face clean and changed his diaper and put him down.
I came back down stairs to find Wayne crashed out on the couch. You boys wiped him out. While Baby Billy had Daddy distracted Greggie pulled all of his toys and puzzles and books out and spread them all over. Did you stop there Greggie? Why show mercy now? Nope, you opened all the kitchen drawers that are not baby proofed and pulled out the utensils and spread them on the kitchen floor. Now I see how Benny got ahold of the pasta laddle. Team work.
With Greggie tucked in for his nap, Benny put away and Baby Billy happily strapped into his car seat carrier, Daddy was snoring on the couch with a pillow over his face even before I had the front door shut behind me.


I finally felt like daddy now understood why I had been crying out of exhaustion and frustration.
While I love you boys to pieces and would never resort to this, I do now understand how someone can be brought to shaking a baby or smacking the bejeesus out of their kids.
Especially at night!
Greggie, you have been waking up with night terrors. You are inconsolable and screaming and it lasts too long when your mommy and daddy are already sleep deprived.
Billy you wake up for a snack, I feed you, put you down and in 30 or 40 minutes you are crying again because you are still hungry. I feed you again and then you throw up the entire contents of your stomach all over me and the bed. Lovely. You also cry because you have gas, you're lonely or you just want to be held. But I WANT TO SLEEP! And on top of all this frustration now you have woken Greg up and you’re both crying and demanding attention. All I want in the world is to be NOT TIRED! Where is the nanny? Someone rescue me!
Well in 5 days I will be back at work. I will be tired still, I know, but at least I will have a solid hour and a half of silence in the car to myself and 8 hours of adult interaction at work to temper the mayhem at home.

Have I told you how much I love you two little stinkers? A lot! Even more than a good night's sleep.