Looking back

Oh, baby. What a year, what a year.
You started so unbelievably small. I held you against my chest and with every tiny exhale you made the sweetest little sigh.

I can still hear it in my mind. I don't think I have ever been happier than that moment when I first held you and you were mine. I was so proud of your Daddy for being my hero. He stayed with me during your delivery into the new world. He took such good care of us.


It wasn't an easy transition for either of us, but it was never too hard.

I had to laugh at the situations we got into. My coworker and friend Paul saved some of the emails I wrote to him and sent them to me today.

Sent: Monday, May 21, 2007 10:39 AMTo: Paul Huston

These last 2 days have been quite a trial. I think that Gregory might be colicky. I don’t know since this is my 1st but there has been A LOT OF CRYING these last 2 days. I have been giving him baby gas relief drops every 2 hours to help sooth him but he is uncomfortable and inconsolable. Yesterday I thought he was finally fine, and after nursing him for too long, I lost track of time, I put him on my shoulder and he promptly started puking like a fire hose. It was in my hair, on the couch blanket, down my pants and of course all over my shirt. Wow, motherhood is messy and gross. Thank god Wayne has been home for his weekend so that I could have some sanity breaks. I think I m looking forward to coming back to work, although the time alone will be more difficult and there will be less sleep. Oh well this is only temporary.

Sent: Friday, May 25, 2007 12:02 PMTo: Paul Huston

I have been sleeping in the spare room since Wayne has to work and I don’t, yet, so he can get as much sleep as possible. I only just started using his crib yesterday but sleep is still spotty. When he is sleeping next to he will grunt at full volume for an hour before he is really ready to wakes up. It is loud and wakes me up because I think that I need to spring to action. So the beginning of last night I had him in the crib and was sleeping with the monitor when I realized that my stomach as really upset. I was so tense from being hyper aware of the monitor waiting for a sound that would need some sort of response that I wasn’t sleeping any better, in fact it was more stress and my stomach hurt from the tension. I thought that was funny and ironic. So early this morning I pulled him out of his crib after his diaper changing and put him back next to me so that if he needed feeding I wouldn’t need to run. ( I know what they say but don’t be alarmed about him sleeping next to me, it is a queen size bed and he has the other half so there is no way that I will roll over him and smother him. And he can’t roll him self yet so there is no chance of him falling off the bed or any other harmful things. And there is less incidence of SIDs when parents sleep with their kids because they can respond faster and will hear a change in breathing.)

I would do it all over again in a hear beat. In fact, I hope to soon. You have been so much fun that your daddy and I want to have another little munchkin.